I have a serious love-hate relationship with elevators.  I love them for the glorious way they allow me to avoid stressing out my quads while wearing high heels. I hate them for the fact that they are too fast. Too fast to start a meaningful conversation that might actually be enlightening or enjoyable. The elevator is like a black hole that doesn’t offer enough time for a meaningful conversation if you have never been formerly introduced and too much time to just say “good morning”.

I can see now why elevator attendants were a bit of a customer service. They recognize the regulars, make small talk and put everyone at ease. Similar to a good therapist, they can smooth out even the stuffiest conversation.

There are people who really cherish 30-seconds of quiet time to collect thoughts, prioritize tasks and ruminate about their day.  There are talkers (like me) and there are people who are annoyed by talkers (not me).  Although I will never understand the latter, I feel a duty to respect their space in an elevator and wish all the time for a compromise that would make an elevator feel just a little bit more comfortable for both of us.

So until elevator attendants make a comeback, I’m hoping for some 30-second snippets of comedy acts over the audio system (instead of outdated muzak) so that we can all at least pretend to be distracted by something other than the silence. If anything, we’ll have something to enjoy for a few minutes or a few seconds during the ride.